Piece of Cake
by Red Witch
Summary: There is a reason why Supertroopers don't become bakers, as the Rangers are about to find out.


**The disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters has been baked in a cake somewhere. Just another mad fluffy fic that came into my mad mind. **

**Piece of Cake**

"Gooseman…What is **this?**" Commander Walsh looked at the rock like object on his desk. All the Galaxy Rangers looked at the object on Walsh's desk.

"It's…It's cake," Shane said with a hint of expectation in his voice.

"If that's cake what's **this?**" Doc held a plate of something that looked like it belonged in a soup bowl.

"That's cake too," Shane said. "I had more but they exploded."

"Gee what a shame," Doc said in a mock tone. "Gooseman where exactly did you get these…treats?"

"I made them," Shane said proudly.

"Ah that explains it," Doc nodded.

"You made cake?" Niko blinked at Doc's plate. "Why?"

"Uh no reason…" Shane said. "Thought you might like a snack."

"I'm on a diet," Doc said quickly.

"Me too," Zach said almost at the same time.

"Goose there must have been **some** reason why you did this so what is it?" Walsh asked.

"Well I just thought…" Shane struggled to put it into words. "Supertroopers aren't programmed for baking."

"Obviously…" Doc poked at the liquid cake.

"I thought if I could learn this…" Shane sighed. "It would be a step at you know…Breaking a little bit of that whole Supertrooper conditioning."

"Oh…" Walsh let out a breath. "That."

"Yeah I know…" Shane sighed. "Ridiculous but I just thought it would be worth a try."

"Speaking of trying Commander I know **you're** not on a diet," Doc smiled. "Why don't you try yours?"

"You must really **want** that tour of duty on Pluto don't you?" Walsh gave him a dirty look. Nervously he looked at the cake.

"You don't have to eat it if you don't want to," Shane said, realizing that this wasn't exactly his smartest move.

"No, no I want to uh…" Thinking quickly Walsh 'accidentally' dropped it. "Oops!"

CLUNK!

"Did that cake just make a **dent** in the floor?" Doc blinked. "A steel reinforced floor?"

"Yes it did," Zach gulped.

"Uh maybe I should try another recipe?" Shane asked.

"Maybe you should try a bakery next time?" Doc asked. "It's not a total loss Gooseman, you can always use it as a doorstop. Or a cannonball."

"I'm sorry I just thought…" Shane let out a breath.

"It's okay Shane," Niko said encouragingly. "You can always try again."

"Are you out of your…" Walsh began. Niko gave him a look. "I mean yes, try again Gooseman."

"It's the thought that counts," Zach said.

"Wanna bet?" Walsh grumbled under his breath.

"Shane why don't I come over later to help you?" Niko asked helpfully.

"Oh okay," Shane nodded. "We'll do that."

"Fine, it's a date," Niko quickly got flustered. "Well not a **real** date but…"

"No, no I know what you mean," Shane said quickly. "You're just coming over. That's it."

"That is so **cute,**" Doc grinned. Niko stepped back and pinched his mustache hard. "OW!"

"So um…I'll see you later?" Shane said to Niko.

"Yeah I'll see you," Niko nodded before Shane stepped out.

Immediately after Shane left Walsh whirled around. "All right. Which one of you lunatics talked him into this? Come on! Fess up!"

"What do you mean?" Doc asked.

"You know **exactly** what I mean," Walsh snapped. "I know one of you put this idea in his head! There is no way he would come up with an idea this stupid on his own! So who was it? Niko? Was it you Niko? This sounds like one of those stupid touchy feely things you're so fond of."

"No, it was **not **me," Niko gave him an icy look. "But I'm not going to discourage it. This is exactly what Goose needs to try. It will be good for him to experience new things."

"Well it's not going to be good for **us** if we keep experiencing disasters like **this!**" Walsh dumped his cake into the trash. "This was you, Hartford wasn't it?"

"Actually sir," Zach coughed nervously. "It was my idea."

**"Yours?"** Walsh whirled on him, clearly stunned. "Your idea? Zachery, I thought you were the **sane** one in this group? What **possessed **you to give Goose the idea of becoming a baker?"

"Remember when Goose baby sat my kids and they tried to teach him how to make cookies?" Zach said.

"You mean when he nearly burned down your apartment?" Walsh folded his arms. "And covered me in frosting. Yes I recall an event like that."

"Well we just happened to remember that event the other day and I may have suggested to him that he try something like that on his own. In his own apartment," Zach said.

"So he would burn down his **own place** rather than yours? Yes I can see the effectiveness of that argument," Walsh said sarcastically.

"I don't see the problem with Goose wanting to feel good about something besides his score on the target practice range," Zach said.

"You **don't** do you?" Walsh gave him a look and held Doc's liquid cake up to him. "You sure about that?"

"So he needs a little practice?" Zach looked at the cake. "Okay a lot of practice."

"What he needs is to forget about this nonsense and go back to being a Galaxy Ranger, not a Galaxy Baker!" Walsh snapped.

"Commander Walsh you should be **ashamed **of yourself," Niko stood up with hands on her hips. "You should be encouraging Goose to try new things and be more human."

"Not at the expense of my internal organs!" Walsh barked.

"You don't understand Commander…" Niko began.

"No Ranger Niko, **you **don't understand," Walsh snapped. "We tried this stupid experiment years ago at Wolf Den and it was a disaster!"

"Wait you actually tried to teach Supertroopers to cook?" Doc asked.

"It wasn't my idea," Walsh explained. "Shortly after Max Sawyer left the program the Board of Leaders sent a small parade of so called 'experts' to evaluate the Supertroopers. One was this idiot named Doctor Duckson who convinced the board that it would be good if the Supertroopers learned some real life skills. Such as cooking. Was that ever a mistake!"

"What happened?" Niko asked.

"Imagine Gooseman along with Kilbane and a half dozen other Supertroopers all together in one large room with several knives, forks, metal cooking tools, heavy pots and pans, raw meat, fifteen dozen eggs, a few ovens and a smuggled in flame thrower," Walsh gave her a look.

"Oh…" Doc was imagining it. "I see…Blood on the walls huh?"

"And a few other areas," Walsh groaned. "Last I heard from Doctor Duckson he was recovering nicely from his third degree burns and surprise lobotomy at the nearest mental hospital. Here's a little tip. Never let Brainchild hold an electric knife."

"Good tip," Doc blinked.

"Well maybe Shane will do better on his own with a little coaching?" Niko said. "And I am going to help him."

"Niko…Do you know how to bake a cake?" Doc realized something.

"Of course I do," Niko said. "I mean…I've seen it done. Eggs, flour, mix it. How hard could it be?"

"That's what I was afraid of," Doc sighed.

"Fine, you want to try this little experiment, go right ahead!" Walsh threw up his hands. "Just don't say I didn't warn you."

"It will be just fine," Niko said. "Anything else you want to warn me about Commander?"

"Just one other thing," Walsh sighed. "Call Gooseman back in here. This was supposed to be a mission briefing!"

"Oh right…" Niko blinked.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Some time later Zach was in the hallway of the living quarters when he heard a loud explosion. "That came from Goose's apartment!" He realized.

He ran to the door when he noticed something was leaking under it. "Is that…Cake batter?" He managed to open the door to find Shane's apartment covered with cake batter. As well as Goose, Niko and Bubblehead. "What happened here?"

"The Martians attacked!" Shane snapped wiping some batter from his face. "What do you **think** happened?"

"How did all this batter get all over the place?" Zach looked around in shock.

"Let's just say for once it wasn't me," Bubblehead chirped. He looked at Shane. "It **wasn't** me this time was it?"

"No Bubblehead," Shane sighed. "It wasn't."

"Goose you do know you're not supposed to use explosives when you make a cake, right?" Zach blinked.

"Actually Captain I'm kind of to blame for all of this," Niko coughed. "I kind of put too much yeast in the mix and…"

"You're not supposed to use yeast in cake mix," Zach gave her a look.

"Really? I know you put it in bread…" Niko blinked.

"Didn't you ever have any cooking lessons on Xanadu?" Zach asked.

"I'm guessing no," Bubblehead blinked. "Ooh! I have batter in my batteries! And it feels gooooooooooooooood!"

"So much for **that** idea," Shane sighed. "Commander Walsh is right. This whole cake thing is a waste of time."

"No it's not Shane," Niko told him. "You just have to keep trying until you get it right."

"Yeah only next time let's get someone who actually **knows** how to bake a cake to help you," Zach grumbled.

"I heard that," Niko gave him a dark look. She sighed. "Still he has a point Goose. I guess I'm not exactly the right person to help you with this. But there is someone you can go to."

"No…Not that!" Shane said. "Anything but **that!**"

"Shane," Niko gave him a look.

"Fine! I hate to do this but I don't have any choice…" Shane sighed. "There's only one person I can go to now. And he is **never** going to let me live this down."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Welcome students!" Doc twirled around in a flourish. He was wearing a chef's hat, a white cooking chef's jacket and a red bandana on his neck. "Welcome to the great Hartford Cooking School where the Doctor can fix any culinary problem big or small! Allez Cuisine!"

"I **knew** it," Shane hung his head down. "I knew this whole thing was a mistake from the beginning. I should have taken up archery or something. **That** I can do!"

"Come on Goose this isn't that bad," Niko told him. "We could both use pointers in the kitchen. And let's face it out of all of us Doc is an expert at cooking."

"Well actually I am an expert at cooking, fencing, dancing, computer programming," Doc counted off his talents on his fingers. "Writing, etiquette, rope tricks…"

"I dunno," Shane gave him a look. "I can think of a few tricks I can do with a rope myself!"

"Now, now…" Doc tisked. "Impatience is not a desirable trait in one who wishes to master the art of cake making. You must humble yourself at the feet of the master."

"Doc keep in mind there are **knives **in here and I know how to use them," Shane warned him.

"Then again what are we waiting for?" Doc asked. "Let's get down to it. First we preheat the oven to…What the?"

"I love the feel of butter between my toes," Bubblehead giggled as he played with a stick of butter.

"Goose you brought your memory bird **why?**" Doc groaned.

"I figured if you were going to torture me I might as well torture you right back," Shane shrugged.

"All right let's start with a simple recipe," Doc sighed. "First we're going to preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Now while we're waiting…"

"Who says we have to wait? I know a trick that will heat that oven right up," Shane grinned as he pulled out his blaster. "I learned this at Wolf Den. All you have to do is set your blaster on low and…"

"GOOSE NO!" Niko shouted. But before she could stop him he had opened the oven door and fired into the oven.

BLAM!

FOOOOOM!

"Uh maybe I set it a little too high?" Goose coughed as the oven slightly exploded.

"Somebody set your trigger finger on too high!" Niko snapped.

"I guess we're just lucky it wasn't a gas oven," Bubblehead coughed.

"This might be harder than I thought," Doc sighed.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

A few weeks and several wrecked ovens later…

"Well?" Shane asked hopefully as Niko ate a slice.

"This isn't bad," Niko grinned. "Very good Shane."

"Now that's a good Goose," Doc grinned. All the rangers were in Walsh's office eating cake. "All we needed was a little practice and a lot of back up ovens."

"It's a mix isn't it?" Zach looked at Doc. "And the icing is from a can?"

"We decided on baby steps for now," Doc shrugged. "But if he can pull this off then it's only a matter of time. And speaking of time it's almost time for target practice."

"Target practice?" Zach blinked. "You've never been happy about target practice before."

"Let's just say after a few weeks of teaching the Goose how to bake I needed a stress reliever," Doc had a strange look in his eye as he pulled out his pistol. "I'm really getting into it now."

"Well Doc taught me a few pointers so I thought it was only fair that I gave him a few pointers," Shane smiled.

"So that's why there are so many holes in the firing range and why we're out of targets for the next three weeks?" Zach blinked.

"Wonderful," Walsh rolled his eyes. "I have a Supertrooper that wants to be a baker and a computer hacker that's turned trigger happy. I guess I picked the wrong week to cut down on my drinking."


End file.
